My father called yesterday morning. He calls on and off to check about work. Mid-sentence, he cut the call. Later in the day, he called again and I asked him upfront about why he had disconnected in the morning. He said, ‘your mother had come in the room’. This really upset me and I disconnected the phone. I mean this has been happening over so many years now. He connects with me but behind the back of my mother and I feel dis-respected. I have been feeling dis-respected over so many years now. By my father, by my mother and the entire family. I was rude with him and I told him that it was unacceptable for me. I am 44 and I do not need to accept this anymore. It has taken me this long to stand up for myself.
I did feel a pang of guilt for hurting him but I needed to do this for myself. To stand up for myself.
We are also thinking of installing CCTV in the office since I am able to reach only by afternoon after taking care of various other jobs and having my lunch. All the indiscipline and mayhem happens in that part of the day. ALthough it is painful. To distrust your own team members, for me is not a good feeling. To start with distrust is disconcerting. But the unmanageability has happened so many times that there seems to be no other way. Neither can I reach office in the morning just to monitor everybody like a dictator.
It is sad that most of us cannot handle freedom, money, responsibility. We are so used to controlling and being controlled. We are so used to manipulating for small amounts of money. Just cannot see the big picture.
Be there.
