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Tag: BG

‘Live to die’

Hate visiting the lawyers. The bankers cannot give us any window of time to retaliate the revoking of the BG by PACT, Lucknow. Le lo yaar. It is money after all. We were more concerned about the self respect that would be damaged if this act was condoned. But maybe the chief engineer or chairman PACT will lose self respect, not us. We have done the work, at a loss and as directed by PACT to the best of our ability, in fact even beyond it. We have to surrender the rest to the universe. Money will go and come. Hopefully. And we are not on the roads, as yet.

Gujiyas. My mother is very good at making them. I thought of calling her to ask for the recipe like any daughter would do under normal circumstances. But I do not know if she will talk to me. She has thrown me out of her life. I am not welcome in her life or home anymore. When the doors of your own home are closed, which other doors can open for you.

I drive back from the office very late in the night and the stark naked roads seem more real, more truthful than the hustling bustling roads of daytime. raat mein zyada sachhai dikhti hai. din se raat zyada schhi hai. It is like there is no mask in the night. There is no fakeness. No need too look good. To make money. To cover up.

Team nahin hai. All of us have different histories, different backgrounds and different limitations. We are using different survival tactics and feel more attacked than protected. So we are threatened by each other. Kya karen? We hurt each other to be able to survive. At any cost.

Blabbering as usual. Have we been able to change even one person? Then let us just shut up and go about our business.

Living is a preparation for dying.

And dying every moment is a preparation for living the next.

‘live to die’


‘The Mumbo Jumbo’

After the correction of 9000 maps at least 900 times for PACT Lucknow, after not releasing our balance payment for whatever its worth, the chairman of PACT Lucknow, Ranjan shukla has sent an encashment letter to our bankers against the BG submitted. Our technical team sat in their office for a week to rectify and close any loose ends before finally handing over the data but then they were not available. They were too busy in their meaningless meetings and the team came back. And now they wish to kill us the only way they know. Encash the BG submitted. After all they are a government body. They can get away with murder. Kill us because we did not bend on our knees, did not people please. We did our job and asked for our payment (which we got in bits and pieces). And now the time has come to pay the price. I can now understand why everyone in our country wants a governemnt job. Because you can become a boss overnight. Its your rules, your specifications, your timimg and your money. The public is like ants in your hands. You can crush them any time you wish to by just closing your fist. Ranjan ji, thoda history dekh lijiye. Please check the numerous letters we have written asking for a clear definition of specifications required. Asking for a single coordination point. Revealing the non-cooperation of various officials in the execution of the project. And mentioning the losses we were incurring because of the lack of clarity and coordination amongst the officers at various levels of hierarchy. Chalo, another jhamela on the camels’ back. Deep breath. Let us face it.

I guess I am angry with AAI. With the system in government orgainzations. With the hype around formal education when the basic values of work, integrity and honesty are not in place. I am just beginning to understand how it is easier to ‘not work’ than ‘ to work’ in our country. Kaam karne se logon ko dikkat hoti hai. It is like nobody works and if someone starts working, it is a big problem. It will mean that others have to work too and that would require changing as well as a huge amount of effort. ‘kaun karega’. And how will doing ‘work’, ‘good work’ change our karma? Quite a poignant argument put forward by many.

Kya sach hai, kya jhooth. Kuch samajh main nahin aata. Cannot figure out the truth anymore. Cannot see the good from the bad anymore. What is good is actually bad and what is bad may have a little goodness in it. Utter confusion. Utter chaos. Increase in entropy so to say.

We are poor as a country not because we do not have brains or talent, but because we do not, cannot respect work. That is the long and short of it. We have talent, we have brains but we do not wish to take a stand , to stretch ourselves, to reach beyond the ordinary. It is not the poplulation (we have enough space), it is not lack of education. It is a lack of attitude, a lack of work ethics. That is it. And politicians cannot point it out. Vote kaise milega? Intellectuals cannot accept it as they are part of the bureaucracy (the origin of the rot). Who will say that the emperor is naked? Who will bell the cat?

Still struggling with the payment gateway for the online shop. God. It has been like ages. Let it work. We have uploaded the constituency maps of UP for the upcoming assenbly elections in the state. Hopefully there will be buyers. Ritesh has pointed out that we are too expensive. So it has been decided that the pricing will be revised to get a break in the market. But we are good guys. I mean we are better than the others. And our maps are geo-referenced. They have a lat-long. Is that not important value addition? Chod do bhaiya. Map bechna hai ki nahin? Do you need the money or not? Of course we need the money. What are you talking? We need it every day, every moment. Then shut up and revise the pricing. OK. Let us do it. Now you are talking.

Rent, bills, rations, stress, tiredness, the mumbo jumbo again.

Talk about it.

The Mumbo Jumbo.


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