Tag: definitions

‘Worse than losing’

We are broke. Thanks to the misuse of a blank cheque by our ex-accountant, Suraj Sinha. The cheque was given to him for cancellation. Of course he did not cancel it. He kept it for malafide use in the future. And that future is now. He also blocked the pc he was using with a password which he refused to reveal. It was for this reason that his salary of a fortnight was withheld. And he found this way to to debilitate the company. He took what he though was due to him and more. In the way of a conman. Incidentally, he also had the online passwords to be able to check the balances and to be able to generate statement of accounts. He has made very good use of this information.

So we are in a beg,borrrow,steal stage. But we will not die. I mean we are not dead yet. But we just might.

I don’t think we can be a part of the system. So the corollary to this is that we can never ever be successful within the system and by its definitions. We have to learn to live with this reality. We will always be outcasts. Business is Politics. And politics is business. And in between the two are just survivors. Still wondering what category we belong in.

Aur hoga nahin. I mean you know what I mean. The hacking, the conning, the forgery, the lies, the manipulation, the mis-trust. Difficult to work with this. To win. And to have no meaning to that winning.

When to win is worse than losing.

‘worse than losing’

‘If peace could be bought’

Omprakash stayed in the office on friday night. Also worked the entire day on saturday. He has finally been able to understand the process of creating the thumbnails, the cropped images and the uploading of the maps on the FTP site. Also the concept of the ESD link in the X-Cart (the engine running the shop). Huge sigh of relief. Good work Omprakash. Keep it up. Chandrakant has been able to understand the zoning map, the surfaces and the instruments. So that is another step forward. He also stayed in the office till late night on saturday, even though it is supposedly a holiday for us ( after all we are claiming to be an IT company!). Ashok has also been able to zero in on an open source software which might serve our purpose. So far so good.

I am also doing my job with dexterity. I mean I am shouting, losing my temper and making life difficult for people around me in general. It is difficult to work with me and in GC. Only the toughest can survive. Even the toughest have walked away many times.

We are following the Mumbai culture. Start late and work late. Therefore, it takes time for people to get used to it. They find it very strange. But we are strange. Very strange in fact. There is no boss, no hierarchy, no controlling and no definitions. It takes time for everyone to get used to this kind of environment. To most, it comes across as a culture shock.

My mother always calculated the cost of every activity and every thing. I used to get very irritated. In my mind, money was the last thing to worry about. It is only now that I have begun to accept that there is a cost attached to everything and that it is important to know it. To be able to decide whether one can afford it. The cost could be emotional or financial. But there is a cost and it makes sense to be aware of it. There are many things that I do not appreciate or accept about my mother but I guess this is one that I can now understand and agree with.

Trying to go with the flow. The rations for the office and the house need to be bought today. The car needs some repair urgently, specially after the fiasco last week. First week of the month again. Bills, salaries, payments. Kuch naya batao bhai. But there is nothing new. It is the same story.
Another fight in the colony over car parking. A guard was beaten up mercilessly by some residents. Apparently they assumed that he had delated the tyres of a car. Animal behaviour. Why can’t we stop buying so many cars. It would be easier to use bicycles. Easy on space. Easy on the environment.

Peace. An overrated word. An overrated concept. We want everything but ‘peace’.
If we could have bought peace, maybe there would have been more of it. Becasue we are so used to buying everything.

‘If peace could be bought’


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