Tag: exchange

Always a traveller

Looking for order in disorder,
for peace in chaos,
for abundance in poverty,
for justice in a jungle,
for life in death.

Quite a full time job I must say. The office, the bills, the house, the rations, all that is small and mundane and yet the most essential, the most powerful. The dusting, the cleaning, the removal of all that is unnecessary from ‘things’ to ‘relationships’.
There is peace in the house today. And it is clean. And there is food. And warmth. Awesome. The souls in the house are a little lonely and maybe that is cause for concern. The soul must get its dose of spiritual touch else the rest of the story cannot be sustained. But taking care of the soul comes last on our agenda. We cannot see the soul you see and we also do not get any social recognition for a good, honest pure soul.

It is so easy to give and receive things. So difficult to give and receive of oneself and others. The connecting of the souls. The sharing of the mutual spirutual spirit. And yet that is what we seek in every exchange of thoughts, ideas and gifts. A spititual exchange. And that is what we miss. All the time.

The journey from the nut to the gut is a long one as the saying goes in the circles of AA ( Alcoholics Anonymous). It is very easy to speak and live from the nut (our brain) and very difficult to live from the gut. But true living always happens from the gut.

Still travelling the journey.

Always a traveller.

‘To be content’

OK. Hold your breath. This one is unbelievable (but when have believable things happened with us?). The payment gateway of the shop has been successfully integrated and it is working fine!! Just when we had given up hope of it ever working fine. Just when we thought that our e-commerce venture would go down the drain, that it would never work with all the technical glitches and the  fiasco with the last team( I mean so many have happened, right!). So the shop is technically and financially open and we should be in business soon( I mean not even one of our maps has been sold as yet but what the hell).

Thanks to Hariom and Gagan ( who has recently joined and is a fresher). Thank you guys. For winning this one.

Hariom is also very near to testing the logic to be used in the software for the calculations with reference to the surfaces and the instruments for a single airport. Chandrakant is doing some reverse engineering for a site in Mumbai and he will also need to visit it very soon to collect a few coordinates. Amit has joined us in accounts and OmPrakash in administration. Let us see. Fingers crossed as always. The beginning is good. I have already shouted once (or maybe twice) and they have not quit. Hope is a good thing anyway.

It is so difficult for us to just manage the office ,bills,clients,meals. Wonder how HP manages the earth with its rotation and every miniscule life on it. It would be good to exchange notes with HP. I mean free of cost of course. Why would HP charge us? It is only man who cannot think of anything without charging.

A lot of potential team members are reading the blog. Sone pe suhaga. I mean why would they like to join after knowing all the nitty gritties of GC? A million dollar question. Kya hoga tera kaaliya. I hope it cannot get any worse. That the worst is over ( we have said that many times in the past too).

I don’t think I am writing intelligent stuff. I should pack up. One of the tyres in my car is punctured and that will need changing before I can reach home, hopefully before the time freezed by Appu which is 1:30 pm ( in the night of course). The team packed up early today (which means by 9:30pm) and that is amazing. They have only been able to leave by 11:30pm or 12:30pm in the past few  months.

‘Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence,

And I am learning, whatever state I am in,

therein to be content.’ – Helen Keller

Shoonya se shoonya tak

We are on the positive side of zero if you know what I mean (as if there is a positive and negative side of zero).I mean we are back to a zero balance in the bank. Appu says this is the state of equilibrium for us. We are most comfortable and stable with a zero balance. I say we are on the positive side becasue work has been done and submissions made. A few payments should trickle in (trickle in because it has never rained for us!). So that makes it a zero headed in a positive direction. That is definitely better than a zero headed in a negative direction.

Shiva has left. Has been asked to leave. The power and money and freedom went to his head. He became too intoxicated to work. I guess the heady cocktail of name and fame was too much for him to handle. He was the face of the company for most people and he went overboard. His work was getting neglected.He was trying to get away by lying and people pleasing. It does not work in GC. Specially people pleasing. It is sad. But what has to be done, has to be done. However painful that might be.

The chairs for the conference room have arrived. They look very luxurious. Too luxurious for us. How would it feel to be transported from a roadside dhaba to a five star facility? Strange. Uncomfortable. Unbelievable. we are not used to people opening doors for us or pulling out chairs. Just a little while ago, we were like the dregs of society with not enough money, with not enough anything for that matter. No wonder, everyone is running after it. we forget that it is only a medium of exchange for good and services. Not the actual worth of anything or anyone.

Shoonya se shoonya tak.

From zero to zero.

All said and done

‘Water’ is an ‘online’ issue. I discovered this when we barely got any water for four days. And when I went to the officer in charge of the colony for water supply, I was told that I needed to install an online pump with a higher horse power as all the neighbouring pumps were of a higher H.P and hence with greater suction ability. The resulting pressure drop in the line ensured that we did not get any water supply. The other option was to remove all the online pumps (which of course is unrealistic). So, we need an online pump with a power of at least 1 H.P and we need a plumber to do the replacement. Great! ‘Roof’ was an issue. Now ‘water’ is also an issue. I wonder what is next. maybe ‘air’.

The ‘great’ family get together was today. I went in the morning to attend a small ‘satsang’ at my parents’ house (despite misgivings of an impending disaster). The ‘satsang’ was a video cassette of the ‘Gurus’ speech being played on a large LCD TV ( bought and gifted by my multi crore brother). It could not do full justice to the fake hallowed environment of covered heads and muted talk and a ‘pretense of being there’. I got up after a while and made myself a cup of tea and sat silently in a corner in another room. That truly felt like some kind of ‘satsang’.
The ‘satsang’ over, there was an exchange of gifts (like jewellery of gold,emeralds and pearls and money(huge)). I was quite a misfit in the entire scenario and to cover up the embarassment of having a ‘poor’ daughter, they decided to gift me an envelope with Rs. 500=00. I was also offered one of my own sarees (sold to my mother in bad times) to wear in the evening and some artificial jewellery to look good (for them of course!)My brother also offered to have me dropped to my house in an old dilapidated spare car which was also being used to transport one of their maids. So the maid and I could be clubbed together to get a ride back. I mean truly, somethings never change. my ‘Family of origin’ is one of them.
Of course, I did not attend the function in the evening in a glamourous hotel with a glamourous gathering. I had had enough glamour in the morning and enough dis-respect from my own family for a lifetime. If there is no respect where one is born and brought up, how can one expect any respect from the world outside.

Mr. Silakari of Aakar Consultants called up and was rude and loud. I disconnected the line as I have no wish to be shouted and screamed at anymore. We are doing very good work for Nagaur and Uniyara and beyond that it does not really matter. Who has written to whom and what and when is a non-issue. The politics of a government department never ceases to amaze me. More than the work the most important question is ‘who is closer to whom’ and ‘who has written to whom’ and ‘why’. Beyond me.

The new office space is being worked upon. It is what we call ‘ a work in progress’. Hopefully it will be a ‘complete work’ very soon (before we are thrown out of this office).

Work, money, self respect. The more self respect we are willing to give up on, the more money we can make. And if we wish to keep our self respect intact, forget about making huge money buddy.

Self respect and money. Inversely proportional relationship.
I guess the fight for us is more about maintaining our self respect and less about making money.

Nevertheless, a fight is a fight.

All said and done.


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