Appu’s dance performance is over. She looked beautiful on stage. It was an honor to watch her performing. She was in the first row of the group and it was easy to locate her. Her grandmother and cousin were also there to watch her and she felt good that there was a ‘ family’ to witness the show.
Numerous calls and many interviews later, we are yet to zero in on a few good candidates. The freshers need a lot of training. The seniors have experience in working as slaves and in a controlled simulated environment with no creativity or imagination. It will take time for them to unlearn the ‘slavery’ and start with a fresh mind on a clean slate. Bahut panga hai.
We have asked our bankers to not pay PACT, Lucknow against the bank guarantee submitted by us as the project was completed and delivered by us a year ago. The work has been completed at a huge loss, the BG has expired and PACT has still not released a part of our final payment, even after the submission of all the deliverables. Talk about injustice. Talk about exploitation. Or better still, do not talk at all. Just survive.
There is fear. Fear has always been a large part of our lives. Fear of being on the roads. Fear of not being able to pay the rent or the bills. Fear of being broke. And many times, faith just flies out of the window. Let us just breathe. It is OK. It will be OK. We will be fine. Just fine.
Triggers, broken promises, broken dreams, brokenness in the family, the neglect, the abuse, the abandonment, the search for respect, for survival.
Technology, money, taxes.
All that is unimportant, becoming so important.
And all that is important, becoming so unimportant.
The important and the unimportant. The real and the unreal.
All mixed up.


