Bahut ho gaya. We will need to take away the freedom offered, the sense of ownership provided. Koi ownership nahin hai. If backstabbing is the forte of today’s generation, then let us be prepared for it. I was thinking that I have failed in creating leaders. But then technology can be taught. skills can be taught. But how can one teach values and ethics. Or integrity. These cannot be inculcated overnight. So how and where does one locate honesty and straightforwardness in a CV?

I managed to clean up a lot of files yesterday. Of course a lot of cleaning and managing is still required. The viruses in the form of people have left but the infection remains. It will take some time to disinfect the office and the minds of the remaining members. The server room is also being cleaned today. Stock taking of the pantry is in process and Om Prakash is checking out the files on the systems. We are gearing up for the next phase. Clearing up, cleaning up, growing up.

The silver trophies, the certificates, the food, money on time and on demand. Kuch pharak nahin padta. They want it all. I guess alll the team members want to be the captains of the ship without the responsibilities. I used to think that there was something wrong with us. But no, there is nothing wrong with us (except for the fact that I am a woman). We are just fine. Its the members who cannot cope with the unearned freedom, power and trust given to them on a platter.

Its becoming increasingly rare to find an honest man. An honest team.
Chirag lekar dhoodna padega. In fact, that is the biggest challenge for us today.

To build a good team.

Last years’ balance sheet is nearly complete with most of the suspense account cleared. That in itself is a huge achievement. Good work Anand and Suraj. And let us not forget the CA. Ah, the CA. The guy of guys. The account of accounts. The man of numbers, behind the show.

We are inching (crawling would be a better term) towards the finalization of the company who can (will) handle the integration of the payment gateway for PrithviPraroop for us. Fingers crossed. If all goes well, Kamakhya will definitely breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe even Dimpi. And Narendra. And myself. Let tommorrow come. Tommorrow will take care of itself.

I had taken medicine from a chemist (to save on time and money) for a mild (or so I thought) infection in my throat. before long, it became worse and I had to make a trip to the doctor and begin a proper course of antibiotics (damn expensive ones too). So much for my efforts to save time and money. Since any such effort is not possible in the daytime, I had to make the visit to the doctor past midnight with no sounds except the barking of the dogs in the streets.
Sometimes I wish everything was 24/7 because most of us in GC only get time in the night (and that too after midnight).

The copper pipe of the split AC in the conference room was cut and stolen from the roof. Hence, all the gas also leaked out. So it was another unbudgeted expenditure to get it working again. We are not being able to send mails and also not being able to trace the problem. That is another major cause for concern.

Baki sab wahi hai. Parking space is still an issue. Water remains an issue. And ‘work and money’ are like perennial issues. Excel sheets, bills,TDS, there are always payments to be made. Why is it that there are scarcely any payments to be collected. There are always so many to be paid at any given point in space and time.

The good vs the bad, the right vs the wrong, the ‘could be’ vs the ‘should be’ vs the ‘being’.

The black vs the white.

And in the end, just grey.

I did not feel like coming to work today but it is like one task at a time, one day at a time. And what needs to be done on a daily basis has to be done. I have not really accomplished much. A few phone calls, a few mails and that is about all. A lot of clutter needs to go from my table. Too many unproductive files.
It will happen I guess. awareness, acceptance,action. Action is the last step you see. I am yet in the awareness stage you see. Although action is the magic word.

So today, I just wish to go home, lie down and rest. Close my eyes and forget that I have loans to re-pay, that we need more projects and the unpaid bills.

For once. For a change.

Surrender to a HP.