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  • Tag: men

    Jai Hind.

    The cops are a copout.

    We have lost faith in the entire police system. The cops seem to be more dangerous in their uniforms than actual goondas. 

    What happened in this office with us yesterday is a matter of shame for the entire country. The police was hand in gloves with the two boys (ex-employees) who have powerful connections in terms of money and position (their uncle is a commissioner apparently in the police department) and created violence in the office with legal permission so to say. The entire operation was staged to support the illegal elements for unlawful gains and control. The incident has created so much fear in the remaining employees that no one wishes to work in this office anymore.

    All the employees walked out today because of the chaos and violence created by these two boys fresh out of college  who had blood in their eyes as  their services were terminated due to bad behaviour. And no action has been taken against them. In fact the manager (admin) who was beaten up by them has been forced by the police to change his statement so as to protect the two culprits. The  manager changed his statement by 180 degrees after being intimidated by the police. 

    What a country? What a shame? And these are the uniformed men? men? You think so? 

    Is that being an officer? 

    There was another incident where I was beaten up by the goons of the local MLA of Okhla Phase-I and  no action was taken on my complaint by the SHO  of Okhla Phase-I Thana. Aam baat hai. The goons bet me up and left. Simple hai. After all the MLA is behind them. I am sorry my parents got me educated. Education does not help in this country. Goondagardi does. Its good to be a goonda. And a man in this country. All this talk about women protection. All humbug. All for political gain. For votes.

     Jungle Raaj. Just camouflaged in the garb of civilization. Very scary.

    Is anyone listening?

     Jai Hind.

    ‘Let the penis rule’

    Guys and Gals, I am really upset. With what has happened. With what can happen. And with what is happening around us.

    Hi, This is Aparna and I am a woman. It has been a struggle to survive in this country as a single woman. All these years.  Every day. Every hour. To fight for basic self respect from the men all around. To prove everytime that just because I am working, Just because I am living alone, I am not available. I am not of dubious character. To the landlords, to the clients, to the bankers, to the drivers, to the accountants, to the shopkeepers, to the men on the street. I began wearing white. I stopped looking good. And still the respect did not come. Many continue to think that there is a man behind me. There must be a man behind me. How can I stand alone with no support and with my back straight , my self dignity intact?

    And so I have a solution. We should declare that in this country the ‘penis’ rules publicly. Anything and anyone with a penis can get away with murder. He can abuse, violate everyone with a vagina, rule the house, rule the family and rule the country. He has the property, the social and cultural rights to be a superior human being just because he  has a penis. He can treat the women as sex objects, humiliate them, rape them mentally, emotionally and physically and use physical force to prove that he is the ruler. In fact, I say that we should make it the national symbol. We should put it on our national flag, make it an election symbol. Because that is the only thing we worship. Many men have nothing to boast of except the fact that they have a penis between their legs. It is disgusting.

    Let us put up posters of the penis everywhere. In the temples, in the mosques, in the churches, in the buses. It is nauseating to say the least. This is what we have earned in 60 years of independence. This is the heritage that we are proud of?These are the men who claim to be providers, protectors, keepers of our respect? And this heinous act in the capital city of this country? What is the example set for the rest of the country? That if species with a penis can get away with this in New Delhi, then what is the guarantee of any safety in the other cities of this country? But maybe the men there are more human. Maybe the penis for them is right where it should be, between the legs and not in their heads. Because men walking around with a penis in their minds is obnoxious. Groping for bottoms, breasts everywhere. What abject poverty? What a shame?

    What are we doing in the streets? Fighting for what? And asking for justice from whom? from the men themselves? There are men at the top and men at the bottom. Can we take the fight back home to our own families? Ask our mothers to fight the abuse of our fathers? Ask our brothers and boyfriends to stop  belittling us, treating us as less than? Can we risk their disapproval? Risk being isolated? Take a stand? Can we stand up for any and every girl being used/abused around us? At the cost of our career? At the cost of social acceptability?

    And if we cannot do any of the above, let us make India a country,

    Of the men, for the men and by the men.

    Let the penis be our national symbol in the world. Our biggest asset.

    And let us kill the girls/women. Genocide. Get another Hitler to do it if required. He definitely looks better than a lot of our so called men. educated. sophisticated.

    Bullshit. Horseshit. Whatever.

    Let the penis rule.

    ‘Shantih Sarvam’

    Shoonyta main Poornta. Fullness in emptiness.

    From ‘nothingness’ to ‘completeness’. From noise to silence. From ‘takingness’ to ‘givingness’. From ‘togetherness’ to ‘aloneness’. From ‘talking the talk’ to ‘walking the walk’. Long journey. Of living from the inside rather than the outside. Of growing up. Of living in the spiritual realm. of following the spiritual laws. Laws which sepercede all the courts created and ruled by men.

    The source of India’s richness and power lay in its ability to function within and from this spiritual realm. From its ability to live in simplicity. A source which is now fast depleting because we are aping the west blindly and getting dis-connected from this huge reservoir of limitless energy and abundance. And therefore we are getiing poorer by the second. And wondering why. This beautiful tradition of doing ‘namaste’, of bowing down to the spirit in each human being in prayer, of greeting with folded hands. Kahan dikhta hai? We have forgotten the art of respecting the spirit in ourselves and in other human beings. Then we want more cops, more laws, more judges, more security, more malls, more freedom without the responsibility. In short ‘more’ of everything. In the realm of the spirit, the ‘lesser’ is better’. Less belongings, less attachments, less cravings, less food leading to a simple yet powerful life. The most powerful feelings can be expressed through the simplest of words, the simplest of gestures.

    Simplicity. Dhoonte reh jayoge.

    As this year ends, we would like to greet every other human being on this planet Earth with folded hands, in humility and in prayer to the spirit within each one of us. We would like to pray for their well being, for abundance and peace in their lives. For all whom we have harmed and for those who may have harmed us. So here is asking for peace for everyone in our immediate family, For those who have owned us and for those who have dis-owned us, for all who have touched our lives in any small way and for those whose existence is unknown to us. May the bond of humanity within us be strengthened and may we learn to respect each other regardless of caste,creed,color,money,country and looks.

    We would like to invite all our ex-team members of GC for making amends. All those who walked out in anger, in desperation. All on whom I shouted and screamed, all whose salary was deducted or not paid and all who have resentments against us. This New Year, please visit us and forgive us. We need all of you to send us positive energy. Each one of you has a played a very important part in our journey and we would like to honor you. Please be with us in mind and spirit.

    And to Appu. For being present for her physically but absent emotionally. For exposing her to every possible danger, from being on the roads to being penniless.

    “Om Dhyauh Shantir- Antarisksham Shantih,

    Shanti Prithvi, Shanti Rapah,

    Shanti Rosadayah, Shanti Banaspatayah,

    Shantir Vishvedevah,

    Shantir Brahma Shantir Sarvam,

    Shantih Shanti Reva,

    Shantih Sama Sganti Redhi

    Om Shantih Shantih Shantih Hari Om”
    Unto the heaven be peace, unto the sky and the earth be peace.
    Peace be unto the waters; unto the herbs and the trees be peace.
    Unto all the gods be peace, unto Brahma and unto all be peace.
    And may all be peace.

     

    To be born a woman

    It is always there. Lurking below the surface. The fear of getting raped. Of getting physically mauled. And once in a while it happens. The iceberg below the surface causes the Titanic to sink. But it was not the 10% of the iceberg above the surface that caused the damage. It was the 90% iceberg that was submerged below water, the part that we could not see, that caused the ship to sink.

    And so it is that we are reacting with protests, with outrage, with demands for a safer city, with a charter of respect for women ( you must be joking). Kaise badlega? How can we change the minds, the attitude of generations? Can we ask every mother on planet Earth to teach their sons to value and respect the girls and women in their life? That is where the dis-respect begins. In the womb of every mother. When the daughters are killed by their own parents. And if a daughter is born, she is supposed to be subservient to her brothers, fathers, husbands. This is where it begins. Can we change that? Have we been able to change that? It is another thing that emotionally and mentally, girls and women are constantly getting raped. Dikhta nahin hai. We notice only when the physical damage is done. But we should see where we slip and not where we fall.

    What can the police do? Their own wives, daughters and sisters are being dis-respected, discriminated against in their own families. Apne ghar ki auraton ko izzat nahin de sakte, samaj mein kya karenge? Aur kyun karenge bhai? They just wish to protect their jobs. Whoever said that they wanted to become better men or men to begin with, at all? Police ki naukri kar li kyonki aur koi chara nahin tha. pakki salary, sarkar ki vardi, bas. Mission pura ho gaya.  Aur izzat ki keemat hi kya reh gayee hai hamare desh mein? jab sab kuch paisa hai to, rape kya cheez hai? Yeh izzat ka nara to bekar hai na.

    Where are the men?

    From uneducated drivers, peons, gardeners to educated engineers, CEO’s, GM’s, all have male egos but they are not men. Any challenge to their seniority ( due to the fact that they belong to the male species), and they become animals. Uncontrollable. Unpredictable. Savage. But our social set-up puts a halo around their heads and calls them ‘men’.

    Yeh phir hoga. Aur phir hoga. The cycle will repeat till we think differently. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. The police cannot do it. The Parliament cannot do it. The politicians cannot do it. The change has to begin from each one of us. From every mother who has a son. And every son who marries and has daughters. And every citizen who has the backbone to stand up and condemn the dis-respect of women in any which way, emotionally, spiritually and physically. That is asking for a very deep surgery. If we cannot do it then there is no point in creating a ruckus and a hue and cry. Drama never changes anything. It just passes away.

    The greatest disability in this world is to be born a woman.

    Amongst men who are not truly men.

    From mothers who do not want us.

    In a society where money is everything.

    Chillao. Aur Chillao. Do we even  know why we need to shout.

    Because no one has ever really listened. And believe me no one is listening now. All concerned are just trying to save their skins. Waiting for the furor to die down. To get on with their lives and quest for power.

    That is why I say female foeticide should be legal. Why should we bring girls in this world when they are not wanted, not respected, treated like sex objects, raped, humiliated, crushed. We can save them this pain. Kill them in the womb. The easiest, cheapest and fastest solution. Have only the men, no the boys. Because the boys who look like men refuse to grow up.  Yes, this is a feasible solution.

    Just have the boys. Eliminate anything ‘female’.

    Let the males rule the males and live with them too.

    The greatest disability.

    To be born a woman.

    ‘And the rise again’

    There has been no project in the last month. Which means that the revenues for this month will be affected (That is a euphemism, let us say that there are no revenues expected at all!). God, the truth is so difficult, all the time. And the Diwali frenzy is round the corner where giving gifts is not a choice anymore. It is mandatory. It has to be done. By hook or by crook. And it has to be done with a smiling face. Diwali and Stress are now synoynms. The newspapers and media do their job of splashing all kinds of colorful advertisements which in effect state that if youc annot afford buying anything then you are a worthless person, a loser. Which is far from the truth but that is how the loudspeakers of our ‘look good at all costs society’ blare. Would love to just go to the mountains till the Diwali fever lasts. Ah, now that is quite a thought. The poet was right when he said that there are five ways to kill a man but the best amongst all of them is to just allow him to live because then he will die every day.

    Work is worship. But in our country, worship is work. Anyone who has taken leave for religious purposes, anyone who keeps a fast is a messenger of God. We dare not ask him/her about work not done. Bhaiya vrat hai. chhod do. So with 36000 crore (I may be wrong) deities in our country, on any given day, at least half the country would be involved in some kind of puja/worship/fasting/celebration. Toh kaam kab hoga? How much time can we actually work? Subtract from the available time, the time lost in arranging for bijli, paani and the various ego issues, and we are left with nothing. It makes excellent time management sense to worship one God. One religion. Humanity.

    The current generation is quite disappointing. Khoon nahin khaulta hai.There is a lack of ethical values, a lack of conviction, courage. In place of being honurable men and women, they have just become products. And saleable ones at that. Quoting dialouges commonly used in hindi movies, they have been brought up on powder milk, not breast milk or so it seems. In place of bringing about a revolution, in politics, in education, in civilization, they are meekly following the norms. Not wanting to give up an inch of their comfort zone. Just being the nice guys around the block. But ‘nice’ is not ‘good’ and ‘nice’ is not ‘right’.

    I wish. I wish that my parents could believe in me. I wish that they had taken a stand for me. I wish that they could have loved me.
    For now, my biggest asset is my daughter. The only relationship that has survived the continuous crises, the various ups and downs.

    The rise and fall.

    And the rise again.

    ‘Stop the earth’

    Tiring to deal with dis-respect, with humiliation all the time. From the men on the roads to the men in the family to the men at work. Puffed up male egos decorated with leather, latest electronic gadgets, property, the approval from society to live and behave the way they want. How can one beat that? It is a wonder that the men have allowed us to even live, to breathe.

    Trip to mumbai, meeting with clients, exodus of team members, submission of proposals, discussions, execution, accounts,bank, payments,ghar. One two three. One two three. Its the same step dance.
    I do not think we are running after money so much as the fake power and respect that it commands whenever it is displayed. There was a time when it mattered how that moolah was earned. But today, it is enough that you have the money (unless there is a scam to expose you, the chances of which are one in a million). So having money is the be all and end all of our existence. No wonder we are becoming poorer by the day.

    So let us play the pretense game a little longer. Let us pretend that we are a civilized society. Let us pretend that we are educated, that we care about the earth and the environment and the handicapped and the poor. Let us pretend because the truth is that we don’t really give a damn. About anyone and anything. We want the best deal for ourselves. Come what may. And this is the real crime. The crime of people against people.

    I don’t think we have achieved much. At least I have not. And there is not much time left. So I do not know what needs to be done to leave this earth and civilization, a little better for the next generation.

    Maybe the earth needs to stop rotating for a while to jolt us out of our complacency and self-destruction.

    ‘Stop the earth’.

    ‘Alone time’

    Sometimes when my car is surrounded by huge trucks in the night while returning back from work, there is fear. I could be crushed in the fraction of a second. Similarly, sometimes when I am surrounded by all these confident men with property,parents,wives behind them, I feel scared. I feel I am nothing. I am not even in the race. A push, a shove, a strong adverse wind and I am gone.

    The report for a site in Mumbai where we are asking for shielding benefit using stereo pairs of satellite images and the technology of photogrammetry is complete. Good work from Chandrakant. Good support from Chandan, Rahul and the rest of the team. Rahul has stood up to manage the office at a very critical time. From opening the office to managing its water supply, he has restored my faith in the current generation ( Gen-X). Thank you Rahul. The brochures designed by Appu on our work in the field of aviation safety are stunningly beautiful and smart. We distributed them to DIAL (Delhi International Airport Limited) after a presentation (we worked overnight to create one). We will also present them to senior members of MIAL (Mumbai International Airport Limited) who have scheduled a meeting with us tommorrow in Mumbai. Thank you Bebzer. Love you. I am sorry I could not do anything for your birthday this year. There was just too much on my plate. That is not a valid excuse but there is nothing else that I can say in my defence.

    We sold two maps in the online shop. Amazing. Awesome. An amount of Rs. 534 was transferred to our account. Unforgettable. We were waiting to earn Re. 1 from the shop. Abhi to Rs. 534 aa gaye. Congratulations team. Well done. Good beginning. We are on the way. IP. In process. Party time.

    Tried understanding the concepts of photogrammetry for the presentation scheduled in Mumbai tommorrow morning. 20% hi samajh aya hai. Ok, have to appear for the exam with 20% knowledge. God. Abhi ‘God’ yaad ayenge. jab waqt hota hai padne ka, tab yaad nahin aate. Ok. deal. God please help us this last time. Next time onwards, we will study all the time (what a lie!).

    Need some time to be alone. To be quiet. To be with myself. To figure out where we are and where we are going. To chart out the direction in which we are moving and whether it is worthwhile at all?

    ‘Alone time’

    ‘Keval Prashn’

    Hooliganism. Goonism. An effort by incompetent people to prove their worth. To fight unlawfully for what is not theirs lawfully. And to descend into the bottomless pit of violence, abduction and abuse at the slightest hint of being exposed,at the mere thought of their unworthiness, emptiness and fakeness being known. This is the so called educated lot we are talking about. The uneducated wield their ignorance and poverty as a weapon to get what they want, when they want it.

    Kya desh hai hamara? We cannot respect work. We can respect caste, poverty, worthlessness. But we cannot expect or respect excellence in ourselves or others. We believe in labor act, in donations, in subsidy, in reservations. But we cannot inspire people to become worthy enough to stand on their own two feet. To earn what they deserve and not demand for what has not been earned. Poverty cannot, should not be treated as a halo of divine light. And neither is it a curse. Its ok to be poor. we should support people in changing that state but not by making concessions or giving them what is not due. But by making them worthy to be able to earn. To be able to value self-respect. Tall order for our country. The politicians are but a reflection of our masses.

    Needless to say it was a bad day at the office yesterday. Threats, abuses, a grand show of impotence by incompetent guards, terminated employees who could not sustain two days of working in our office and the office peon who got so scared that he just locked the office and ran away. These are the men of our country. These are the men who can produce kids but cannot stand up and fight for what is right. They can marry, have sex, flirt but do not have the backbone to stand up and protect themselves and others. Izzat jaye to jaye, jaan to bacha lo. Needless to say that I had to rush to the office, re-open it, file police complaints and go through the same drill. Time and again.

    It is tiring to deal with spineless people. Incompetent people. Scared people.

    And what would ‘success’  in such an ‘impotent’ society mean?

    Questions. Only questions.

    ‘Keval Prashn’


    ‘This Earth’

    It is quite a job. To be a woman. To be constantly aware of the fact that at any moment, anyone can trespass our boundaries. Emotional or Physical. It is quite a scary thought and to constantly live with it can be very tiring and exhausting. Just behind the thin veneer of liberty, equality and freedom for women is this stark, brutal reality of being inferior to men. The moment we step out of the defined boundaries , there is hell to pay. In the family, in the society, in our professional lives and in the world at large. I guess that is why we are struggling with the bank so much. I am a woman and I have no land. There cannot be a worse combination. Add to it the lack of a ‘man’ behind me. pathetic. It is very difficult for the bankers to trust me with large amounts of money. Even though we have been paying the installments consistently. Even though our performance has been consistent, if not mind blowing or path breaking.

    I do not know what the Higher Power has in mind for me. The HP’s intentions are not very clear to me as of now. To give in or to stand up. I was recently able to attend an NA meeting and a member shared how his daughters had no toilet to go to. How they did not dare to venture out in the night for relieving themselves as they could be molested or raped in the fields. So they have to wait the entire night until dawn breaks for going to the fields.  One of his daughters is now living with us and I have no idea how we could make her life better and if at all such a possibility exists. This is the development of our country if you may please. This is the reality behind the malls, the glitz and glamour of high technology gizmos. sachhai dekh lo yaar. Before it is too late. Maybe it already is too late.

    We need to invest in the technology of ‘Photogrammetry’. So we are looking at the universe to open up sources for the funds and energy required. The stereo satellite images ordered for a specific project have not yet arrived. We are a unique country. Everything takes time. Even time takes time.

    We continue to look for leaders. As I mentioned earlier, we are constantly in recruitment mode now. There is nothing much to say. There is fear. Constantly lurking behind as a backdrop in the mind and heart. Need large doses of faith here.

    Choose between faith and money. Well?

    I mean what about both. Or is there a guarantee that faith could lead to money and vice versa?

    Just go to hell. But we are already in hell. I mean we are on this earth which is like hell.

    ‘This Earth’.


    ‘Keep in touch’

    Kuch pal. A few moments. Between the house and the office. Between the house and the client site. Between the origin and the destination. Between losing and winning. Between life and death. Moments of aloneness. Moments of oneness with a Higher Power. Moments where we are just travellers. Just ‘musafirs’.

    Appu participated in a dance performance in the annual fest of her college today. It was a choregraphy depicting the seven qualities of a woman and it was breathtakingly beautiful. It was awesome to see Appu who was a tiny bundle at some point in space, grow up and dance so gracefully on stage. Thank you Appu. You made me feel so proud of you. You made me want to believe, that there is still some beauty left. Still some humanity somewhere. Still something to live for, to hope for. And that, despite the fact that the world is run mostly by men, all that is beautiful and graceful and colorful is feminine.

    Talking of feminity, we have two lovely girls with us. Geeta is taking care of the front desk while Anita is taking care of the administration. So the office is definitely more cleaner and better managed. The pantry issues have dropped off from my head on to Anita’s shoulders and that has been quite a relief. The house is also running better than before. We have a maid who stays from morning to evening. The water supply is normal. And Appu is not feeling so alone. The major hurdle in front of us now are the building of a good team and the closing of some good projects. And of course increasing the turnover. Easier said than done.

    One of our clients has agreed to believe in the technology of photogrammetry and in us. I guess that is a huge step forward. (zyada mat kudo. If you remember, he also mentioned that he could see no other choice to take his case forward with AAI). Ok. I mean we always wanted to do this to put forth our case on a stronger technical footing. So it does not matter whether the client is believing in us out of choice or desperation.

    Of course kaam aur chahiye. I mean a single project cannot sustain even half of the bare bread we need. Faith. Keep the faith ( for how long buddy? I am getting old you know!). Ok so there is fear. Aha. Fear. Panic. Not good for the soul.

    KIT policy. Keep in touch with HP.

    Just ‘Keep in Touch’.



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