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Tag: permissible

‘To be silent’

I had a fight with Appu. No excuses. No explanations. I just snapped. Everything got too much. She is upset. So am I. Between the bills and the loans, there seems to be no place for any love to exist. I guess ‘sorry’ will not be enough this time round.

Chandrakant is in Mumbai today. For the collection of GCP’s. Hariom has nearly crossed the major obstacles in the software development for the maximum permissible height calculations using open source GIS. Gagan is trying the install the SSL seal on the interface of the shop. Chetan and Vikram are working on the training content for the two professionals scheduled to arrive in the beginning of next week. Lots of positive energy in the office.

It is very tempting to compare ourselves with others. Very easy to fall into a trap of self pity. Hence it is extremely important for us to keep the focus on ourselves. All of us have our own race to run with a different set of starting and ending points. There cannot be any comparison.

The additional temporary limit extended by the bank has run its course and we are not sure if it can be extended for some more time. Bahut jhamela hai. Lots of unmanageability. Chaos. Financial and emotional. The Review Committee of AAI has not sat for a meeting as yet. Many clients are waiting for a decision on their files. And in the waiting process, our work has lost its value. Any decision in our country takes a long time. That is the worst part. The dis-respect for time. Kills everyone and everything.

Kuch bolne ko hai nahin. Its the same rigmarole. In fact we should stop jabbering. There is nothing new.
Maybe silence will express what words cannot.

Very powerful.

‘To be silent’

Only silence

The payment gateway for the online shop continues to be an enigma.We are still trying to figure out the compatibility issues for integration. And of course there is a huge cost attached to it. There are no free lunches anyway. The team is settling down to the absence of Bhagat. Narendra Rana has taken over the reins for the maps to be produced for the online shop. The software development has taken a backseat as of now although we are making a thematic map of permissible heights in Mumbai by integrating the guidelines on a GIS platform.

So far so good. The banks are not breathing down our backs. As of now. Thank God for that. After a very long time we are bidding again for work in a government body. So help us God. Working with a government body is like working with papers. We would need to exist on papers and the work needs to be done on papers. Whether it actually gets done on the ground is immaterial. The proof should exist on papers. This is tougher than actually working. The balance sheet for 2010-2011 is yet to be finalized and that is a major cause for concern. Murari, who joined us recently as an accountant has a herculean task on his hands.

Appu is happy about the upcoming dance performances. And the weekend trip she has planned for me. I am grateful to her. For a lot of things apart from choosing to live with me, with my crazy behaviour and even crazier routines.

When ‘living’ is bound by so may rules,regulations,I cards, bills, looking good, then where is the ‘life’? There is ‘living’ but there is no ‘life’. Sometimes there is ‘dying’ but there is no ‘death’.

Rations,bills,seminars,accounts,balance sheet, returns,tenders.vegetables,atta, sounds cool.
Real change needs real effort. And reality comes with its own cost. And when we become real, there are no words.

Only silence.


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