Tag: talent

‘To be’

When the earth moves, everything else stops.

In these moments, ‘life’ itself becomes precious. All the rest fades away. Ambition, Money, name, fame. Its back to the basics.

Just to be able to breathe. Just to be able to live. It is these ‘earthquake’ moments that re-teach us the value of life, of being human first and foremost.

We have filed an appeal in the High Court to quash the false FIR registered against us by the cops. It is truly preposterous. The FIR says that we detained two constables, who incidentally had loaded guns with them, obstructed them from performing their duties ( if they know what they are in the first place) and the SHO had to come with cops from two thanas to save them from confinement. I mean it would be a brilliant accusation only if it were not so funny. In the process of getting their constables released, they also arrested me and two of our employees. According to the records of the local thana, I am an undeclared ‘bad character’. So much for the respect for education and entrepreneurs in this country.

AAI is doing a good job. All the minutes of the meetings being conducted are being uploaded on the website. The meeting for height clearance is being conducted every month and all concerned can heave a sigh of relief. Decisions are being taken and files are moving. Good, great. Voila.

Appu has been travelling with her friends and has one more trip planned in the coming week. Finally, she is not dealing with the cops or the crisis situations in the office or in the house. She is doing stuff that normal girls her age do. She has got admission in the Copenhagen Contemporary School of Dance  and is planning to spend a year training with them. Good for her. She knows what she wants to do. What direction to take. I was quite clueless at her age. I will miss her but she needs to follow her path now. Fly to new horizons.

The house is running and the office is running. We have work although the team is next to nil. We are either not big enough, or smart enough or tough enough to be able to get and retain the right talent. I am spending nights and days in the office every alternate day. Whatever works. The show must go on.

Not expecting too much from life.

Sometimes that is the only way to live.

To be.




‘Hungry and passionate’

We have a team. Just that it is not a ‘winning’ team. The challenge is to have a ‘winning’ team. A team wanting to win at any cost. That is what we need. People who do not base their decisions on money. Who are not saleable items to be bought at a high price. Kahan milte hain? Every feeling,every emotion, every person today has a price tag. And that is the poverty. The worst kind of poverty. The poverty of thought.

Groupism, Unionbazi galore. Even in a small team such as ours. kar lo yaar. Kaam important nahin hai. Non issue ko issue bana lo. And let us keep fighting. Till we all die and persih. And then we can blame it on me or the country or the lack of opportunity or the weather or the food or the timing. What a waste of talent and intelligence. Just when we need to stand together and face the crisis the company is in, we are choosing to fight. Good work. let us keep it up. Let us use our fists and legs and punch each other. Why just prepare a demand charter. Let us go all out and show the stuff we are made of.

Will Gandhigiri work in such an environment? Simple living and high thinking. You bet.

‘Hamen bade log nahin chhahiye. hamen chhote log chahiye jinki soch badi ho’. Give us men and women who are alive. Give us men and women are are trained to do a job well to perfection. Who do not need to be trained to perform effortlessly and gracefully. Whose life and work is a perfect dance in harmony. Who do not need to be told to do an errorfree quality job. We can then talk about the package. We could then perhaps talk about the timings.

The problem is that we are all looking for an wasy way out. The shortest route to success. And a job. Just a job. We are not really committed to being successful or in winning the match. Just being on the field is enough for us. But it should not be enough. We have to be hungry and passionate about the match.

Hungry and passionate.

‘The Mumbo Jumbo’

After the correction of 9000 maps at least 900 times for PACT Lucknow, after not releasing our balance payment for whatever its worth, the chairman of PACT Lucknow, Ranjan shukla has sent an encashment letter to our bankers against the BG submitted. Our technical team sat in their office for a week to rectify and close any loose ends before finally handing over the data but then they were not available. They were too busy in their meaningless meetings and the team came back. And now they wish to kill us the only way they know. Encash the BG submitted. After all they are a government body. They can get away with murder. Kill us because we did not bend on our knees, did not people please. We did our job and asked for our payment (which we got in bits and pieces). And now the time has come to pay the price. I can now understand why everyone in our country wants a governemnt job. Because you can become a boss overnight. Its your rules, your specifications, your timimg and your money. The public is like ants in your hands. You can crush them any time you wish to by just closing your fist. Ranjan ji, thoda history dekh lijiye. Please check the numerous letters we have written asking for a clear definition of specifications required. Asking for a single coordination point. Revealing the non-cooperation of various officials in the execution of the project. And mentioning the losses we were incurring because of the lack of clarity and coordination amongst the officers at various levels of hierarchy. Chalo, another jhamela on the camels’ back. Deep breath. Let us face it.

I guess I am angry with AAI. With the system in government orgainzations. With the hype around formal education when the basic values of work, integrity and honesty are not in place. I am just beginning to understand how it is easier to ‘not work’ than ‘ to work’ in our country. Kaam karne se logon ko dikkat hoti hai. It is like nobody works and if someone starts working, it is a big problem. It will mean that others have to work too and that would require changing as well as a huge amount of effort. ‘kaun karega’. And how will doing ‘work’, ‘good work’ change our karma? Quite a poignant argument put forward by many.

Kya sach hai, kya jhooth. Kuch samajh main nahin aata. Cannot figure out the truth anymore. Cannot see the good from the bad anymore. What is good is actually bad and what is bad may have a little goodness in it. Utter confusion. Utter chaos. Increase in entropy so to say.

We are poor as a country not because we do not have brains or talent, but because we do not, cannot respect work. That is the long and short of it. We have talent, we have brains but we do not wish to take a stand , to stretch ourselves, to reach beyond the ordinary. It is not the poplulation (we have enough space), it is not lack of education. It is a lack of attitude, a lack of work ethics. That is it. And politicians cannot point it out. Vote kaise milega? Intellectuals cannot accept it as they are part of the bureaucracy (the origin of the rot). Who will say that the emperor is naked? Who will bell the cat?

Still struggling with the payment gateway for the online shop. God. It has been like ages. Let it work. We have uploaded the constituency maps of UP for the upcoming assenbly elections in the state. Hopefully there will be buyers. Ritesh has pointed out that we are too expensive. So it has been decided that the pricing will be revised to get a break in the market. But we are good guys. I mean we are better than the others. And our maps are geo-referenced. They have a lat-long. Is that not important value addition? Chod do bhaiya. Map bechna hai ki nahin? Do you need the money or not? Of course we need the money. What are you talking? We need it every day, every moment. Then shut up and revise the pricing. OK. Let us do it. Now you are talking.

Rent, bills, rations, stress, tiredness, the mumbo jumbo again.

Talk about it.

The Mumbo Jumbo.

Regardless of the outcome

The office is in a half broken condition. And yet the clients are walking in. Nothing short of a miracle. In our history at least. Narendra is back from Mumbai after a site visit ( to gather some control points). We fought before he left ( I hope it has subsided by now). I have been shouting and screaming in the office like a maniac recently. I think the increased work pressure has a lot to do with it. My mobile bill has shot up and the hours in the office have also increased for all, specially towards the night for me (10:00pm to 10:30pm) and Appu is just not OK with it. We are all wondering how to cope with the increased workload and the imminent shifting on the horizon.

We are crying and laughing all at the same time.

Narendra will complete one year on December 28, 2010 and that is huge. I mean in this company even one month is huge. One year is like a decade (with all our crisis situations). I think the next in line is Shiva who will complete 8 months followed very closely by Dimpi with 7 months (I may be wrong).

We have jointly decided not to bid for the empanelment in Rajasthan. No point looking for ‘bread’ in a ‘hardware’ store. We get the government we choose. The JDA will get the consultants they deserve. At the cost of being brash, I do believe we are too good for them. Maybe they need mediocre guys who will bend and do what they wish. Maybe they need slaves, not technocrats. So we will not participate. ‘Slavery’. The legacy of the ‘British Raj’. Continues to harm us in all spheres, specially where there is ‘bureaucracy’. Sometimes walking away at the right moment is ‘winning’. And we are choosing to do just that.

‘Politics’ and ‘Bureaucracy’. The process involved in both ensures that good deserving people do not wish to participate. To fight a ‘monster’ one cannot become a ‘monster’.

Our ‘talent’ is being appreciated. I wish my parents could be a part of it. I wish they could see me as I am. I wish they could see the effort beyond the ‘debts’,'loans’ and apparent ‘lack of wealth’,'success’ in our lives. Its the ‘trying’, its the ‘walking the path’, its the ‘effort to build a clean and good life’ which is beautiful.

Regardless of the outcome.


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