Looking for what? Leaders? Leadership? You must be joking right. I mean we take all these degrees to get a good job ( good job=f( package,comfort,fixed time,no control)).Right. Ab Kya karen? We cannot work with tenders where all the low quality work happens and degrees or no degrees, one can get away with murder. Or on all the outsourced projects from the US and UK which only dole out the manually shitty jobs ( even if they pay in dollars, technically the jobs are very manual in nature) that they themselves do not wish to do. So we are trying to carve out a niche for ourselves. To develop and integrate technologies for an application sector. But that needs us to use our brains, to enter the non-newtonian frame of reference in terms of time, to submerge ourselves in soaking in new knowledge, new skills. Aur kiske paas itna motivation aur patience hai? And if we can get away with low quality jobs, kyun bhankas karna hai? Live and let live. Take a good package and become a good package oneself. Look good in the world. It does not matter how we actually feel at the end of the day.

It is difficult for us to achieve anything spectacular in our country. Since the focus is not on pushing the topline up, it is almost always on pulling the bottomline up. So we are constantly working on poverty, education for all, female foeticide, basic health. And with a large poplulation all the solutions we think of are low quality or politicized. So they do not make any significant difference to the lives of millions. So with all our hogwash and good intentions, neither are we able to pull the bottomline up and neither are we able to push the topline up. So we stay in between. All the time. And we kill those who even try to cross the topline. How dare they? When so many are suffering and are below the bottomline. So either all go below the bottomline, which is easier or all go above the topline,which is next to impossible. So while we applaud acheivers internationally, we make sure that the system in our country ensures the death of any creativity, any intelligent spark, any tendency to be different in any individual. And we all become losers and blame each other.

There is pain. And there is a sense of powerlessness. We truly cannot change anyone. The only person we can change is ourself. But how can a single person execute a project? It is not like climbing a mountain and yet figuratively that is what it is. So what we need is a team willing to climb Mt. Everest. A team wanting to win. But where do we look?

Appu is struggling for attendance. She waits for me, sleeps late, cannot get up on time for her classes and invaribaly does not get attendance in the early morning class. But why is attendance even important at the college level. As Appu rightly says, Isn’t ‘Attention’ more important than ‘Attendance’? What if one is just sitting in class and chatting on facebook?

Life is moving at its own pace. There is loneliness. There is fear. There is anger.
We are so busy doing all the unimportant things that the important ones just never get done.

Bills. Salaries. Focus karo. Life’s philosophy will not pay a single bill. If that were the case, there would have been no prostitutes in any part of the world. Focus.
God. How the hell do people make millions? Scams, Drug Dealing? We are at the surviving stage continuously and consistently.

Focus. At least till a miracle happens.

A miracle.